Burger Porn Post - vol. I - Updated

Pictures now, words later.

Name that burger.

[Update] I'm back! Now the words on these delicious babies...

Disclaimer: "What about Shake Shack, Burger Joint, and blah?" I love those burgers, but they are extremely well-covered, and I imagine that if you are reading this then you either have heard of them, or know how to use Google. No? Here you go.
These are Some of My [Other] Favorite Burgers in NYC - vol. 1.

BLT Burger - The Boy Next Door

Look at that bashful cutie...

There ya go.

But really, it's what's inside that counts.

I have no complaints about this burger. I went with "The Classic" [pictured], which weighs in at a very modest-but-sufficient 5 oz. of Black Angus beef - notably not so oversized as some of its mid-range, sit-down restaurant peers (I would say that the rest of the burgers in this post fall in the 8-10 oz or more range). It comes bare bones, but they offer a ton of toppings to choose from. I'm usually inclined towards the traditional - American cheese, lettuce, tomato, onions, condiments. And it's cooked to order - with proof in the form of a cutesy cow-shaped stake piercing the bun - which is a crucial quality that should never be overlooked (see Five Leaves burger, below).
Despite the high-profile French chef behind the joint (Laurent Tourondel), this place puts out a no-frills, well-executed American classic that's more "Oh, yeeah," than "Oh la la!" Not unforgettable, but it hits the proverbial spot.

The other options on the menu are mostly 7 oz. [still modest-sized] affairs, with various pre-selected themed toppings, all pretty standard, and perhaps now considered classic by some - bacon, lettuce, tomato; blue cheese w/grilled onions and mushrooms; jack cheese, avocado, etc. They also have more 'fancy' variations - "American Kobe," lamb merguez, turkey, veggie falafel, salmon - which, aside from maybe the first, I wouldn't really call 'burgers,' so much as burger-inspired sandwiches.
I should also note that they have "Spiked Milkshakes." I haven't tried the ones here, but a previous alcoholic milkshake experience (Beer Shake) taught me that sometimes a thing might sound like a good, no great idea in theory, but the reality ends up just being another reminder that sometimes good thing+good thing ≠ better thing. (That said, I will probably end up trying these at some point because, hey, I like ice cream and I like booze, and I often suck at learning lessons when they concern things that I like.)

Lure Fishbar - The Beach Babe

Yow-oww.

I really do like this burger, but 2 things keep me from going back to it too often (despite the fact that it's just a few blocks from my work): 1.) It's not cheap: $17 for the "Lure Style Burger," and a bowl of fries (which are always crispy and well-seasoned, but I could take 'em or leave 'em). And 2.) The place, Lure Fishbar, is right in the heart of SoHo, beneath the Prada store, and feels more "Sex in the City" than I generally like. (If that's your thing, no one's judging - just not mine, really.) The decor seems to be trying for...nautical chic[?], while the ambiance consists of pop hits from the 80s and 90s (which I don't mind, but it's pretty loud), and the inevitable gaggles of "ladies' night out" type situations (more gossiping over "cosmos" than dancing on bars) going on all around. Not my ideal burger eating conditions.
But about the burger: especially for a place whose focus is supposedly sea food, this burger is surprisingly well-executed. I first read about it on A Hamburger Today, and there's not really much I can say about it except what's been stated on that post: it's like a fancy, supercharged In-n-Out burger. Who can argue with that? It's served on a brioche, but the contents are not upstaged. It works. Also, I've had it a few times, and it's almost always cooked to order (M's was overdone once). It's not exactly a burger to seek out, but if you find yourself craving a burger in SoHo, or for whatever reason find yourself in Lure Fishbar, I would highly recommend it.

Stone Park Cafe: The Duke

Pure class

I don't often get the burger here because they have so many other wonderful offerings, but like everything else on the menu, the burger is Solid. Capital 'S.' Screw it, capital 'OLID,' too. Capital SOLID.
Maybe I'm biased because Stone Park Cafe has been one of my favorite restaurants in New York pretty much since I moved here about 5 years ago. (Full disclosure: I also know one of the owners, but that didn't really happen until after it was already a favorite). But I have brought many friends to this place, and have never felt like I had talked it up too much. Honestly, it's just one of those places where the incredible attention to detail is evident in every aspect of the restaurant, and every dish that comes out of the kitchen. Hearty and soulful, yet beautifully precise - it's sophistication without pretension. The burger is no exception. It's Grace Kelly in Levi's. I'm not really sure what that means, or if it conveys any sort of deliciousness, but this post is taking too long and I'm starting to get into stream of consciousness mode. It makes sense, trust me. Anyway, I didn't even have to try to make that shit look that good, and it's gorgeous, no? I went for the non-traditional, fancypants burger toppings this time - blue cheese and sauteed mushrooms - but you can also get Vermont cheddar, pepper jack, gruyere, what have you. The bun is a classic, soft sesame bun, which is my favorite kind of burger attire. Also, those are my favorite kind of fries. You know the ones - the "fancy McDonald's style" fries that everyone loves. I don't know how hard or easy it is to make fries like this well, but I do know that I come across mediocre or crappy fries a lot more often than not. These are always perfect.
Just go there, even if you don't get the burger. You can't go wrong.*

*Totally uncompensated endorsement, and not swayed by any sort of bias except for this beer sitting beside me.

Five Leaves - The As-burger Syndrome*

*Named as such mostly for its eccentricity and unpredictability, as well as its ability to be really fucking incredible and spot-on when it gets it right, the analogy doesn't really go into any deeper significance relating to Asperger Syndrome , nor should it imply that I have any real understanding of the actual condition (aside from fictionalized accounts). I love this burger dearly, and do not mean to offend anyone. I'm just a sucker for a stupid pun.

When I started this post, I thought I was putting the burgers in order from my least to most favorite. However, I have had this burger several times since then (YES, I started this a while ago...I am a busy lady), and I'm sad to say I might be changing my mind - mainly just due to the inconsistency. The first couple times I had this burger, I put it above all my previous favorites with much haste - such was my enthusiasm for this extraordinary burger. Incredibly juicy, well-seasoned, coarsely-ground patty, topped with a fried egg, fried pineapple, sliced beet (in the fashion of the Australian owners' native land), and harissa mayo, all on a fresh, lightly-toasted chewy but relenting ciabatta-type roll. It's a bigger mouthful than that incomplete sentence, and worthy of at least 8 more adjectives. All previous notions of a good burger, all love for tradition, went out the window. But as the story goes, haste makes waste, and my decision proved too hasty, indeed. Because it's in the neighborhood, paired with the fact that our first experiences knocked us on our asses, M and I find ourselves consuming the Five Leaves Burger pretty frequently. More than any other. It's never bad, per se, but to put it in M's words, "The inconsistency of this burger is hilarious." Our collected empirical studies have led us to the [somewhat arbitrary and unscientific] estimate that the burgers come out either overcooked or underseasoned about 3 out of 5 times. Which is no small fraction. And it seems to be getting worse, which makes me sad because when this baby is right, it is damn RIGHT. Flavorful meat, juicy (even when overcooked) with a nice crispy char, the broken egg yolk melding with the harissa mayo, oozing its way into every bite, with the sweet tang of the pineapple and beet to cut through the richness - heaven. Anyway, it's worth a try, even if the odds are against. If you like a well-done burger, you're in luck; if you like yours either medium rare to rare, be sure to order it rare (we always order ours rare now, and have yet to receive a rare burger).
Like at Lure, there is the regular burger and the restaurant's signature namesake burger. At both places, I recommend the namesake. Also at both places, not a cheap burger - the Five Leaves Burger will set you back 15 big ones. But if you're lucky, it'll be 15 bucks well spent on a burger that won't soon be forgotten.

Night shots

I eat this burger a lot.

BLT Burger
470 6th Ave (at 12th St)
New York, NY
(212) 243-8226

Lure Fishbar
142 Mercer St (at Prince St)
New York, NY
(212) 431-7676

Stone Park Cafe
324 5th Ave (at 3rd St)
Brooklyn, NY (Park Slope)
(718) 369-0082

Five Leaves
18 Bedford Ave (at Lorimer)
Brooklyn, NY (Greenpoint)
(718) 383-5345